May 31, 2007
Another Best, Another Argument
We pretty relentlessly mock lists that involve listing the best of ________ (location, dining establishment, watering hole, venue) in the District. Be it a national publication or even our own Washington Post, sometimes it seems that the rankings reflect what's easiest rather than what's actually best. After all, is Starbucks really the best Washington has to offer by way of coffee?
So when we saw that Esquire had published a list of the best bars in America, we were hoping that the magazine had dug deep and really considered some of the local gems across the city. In their view, Capitol Hill's Hawk 'n' Dove is the best the District has to offer. They write:
Low-level congressional staffers head to this political-memorabilia-filled old Irish bar on Capitol Hill for the free happy-hour buffet (because they're underpaid, not because the food's that good). And if you listen to them closely, you can learn everything you always wanted to know about concurrent resolutions.
But is it the city's best? I've lived on the Hill for close to five years, and have never thought much of the place. Of course, Charles, our resident classical music expert and himself a Hill resident, differs, arguing, "The decor may not have changed much since 1965, and there may not be much to recommend it gastronomically, but I love that old dive. It's got character, which is something that is rapidly disappearing from Washington." That much is true. Put next to the neighboring Tune Inn and the Capitol Lounge just down the street, it's a no-frills sort of place that isn't trying to keep up with interior decorating trends or the fanciest martini concoctions. And for a city known best for its federal focus, maybe hearing about a concurrent resolution from a low-level staffer passes for hanging with the locals.
But we're curious to hear what you think. Did Esquire pick right, or did they pick easy? If it were up to you, what would you pick?
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I think the gossip can be just as juicy at the Tabbard Inn.
For me, personally, I prefer a dive bar to an upsale lounge or dance club. Lucky Bar and Cap Lounge are two of my favorites.
Maybe if the celebutards think that H&D is the best that DC has to offer, they'll stay away.
I know Hawk doesn't have good food, often smells like vomit and frequently serves beer in solo cups, but I enjoy it. I'll be there tonight, just like every Thursday.
It's definitely not the best bar in DC but I think Esquire probably felt the need to pick a Hill bar because most people not from the area think of politics when they think of DC.
They picked lame. If you're going to pick a dive, pick a real dive like the Tune Inn that comes completely with mangy deer heads and folks stopping in for an "eye opener" at 7am.
well martin, if you're going to offer your opinion, telling us that the hawk and dove sucks, then why don't you give us your choice for best bar in town? don't cop out on us now.
(and for the record, i don't know if you can call any bar "best", though i will say that as far as non-fancy places go, i love the hawk and dove. one of my favorites.)
Only in DC would anyone actually think it appropriate to call the Lucky Bar a "dive bar".
When I think dive bar, I think the Li'l Pub.
There once was this place, where girls danced on the bar, and cut men's ties off. Coyote Ugly was the name, and it was glorious. When it closed this city lost its heart and soul.
But seriously though, I get the sense that in choosing the H&D, they're just going off of some other list, that itself copied off of some other list. At the end of that trail, you get to some intern that went there once in 1985, got laid, and then got a job at Spy Magazine where he was assigned to write about the nation's best bars.
At least, a story like that is the only reason I can explain how a bar like Madam's Organ was name by Playboy to be one of the best in the nation.
I know it's lame, but I still think ESL is a great bar. At least for happy hour; I don't bother going there after 10:00.
I believe the Tune Inn was on the list last year and thus ineligible.
http://www.esquire.com/bestbars
If you're going to pick a dive bar, pick one that has some character to it.
Chief Ike's gets my vote.
ahhh, li'l pub. the only place on the hill where you can mingle with homeless and cross-dressers. love it.
The Tune Inn is on the list as well. I had breakfast there today so now I feel trendy. Warning: they have DC Keno now. Authentic, but I find it depressing. Still worth it for Chef Mike's corned beef hash, though.
The reason why the Hawk is on the list: Mike Rosenwald put it there (yes, some Esquire list entries have bylines). That would be Michael S. Rosenwald, WaPo Staff Writer and Esquire Contributor. Take it up with him.
I don't expect much from Esquire in general, but this is totally lame even for their standards.
Since when is a staffer/intern swarm a good thing?
And no, hearing about a resolution from a low-level staffer definitely does NOT pass for "hanging with the locals."
It's the exact opposite, since those staffers got off the bus from Peoria 6 months ago.
Give me Bourbon, Chief Ike's, hell I'll even take Trusty's.
H&D is one of the better DC dives. That title used to belong to The Raven before Moe decided to get rid of the dank. Stoney's at the old location was an excellent bar; great hangout for the K Street chef crowd after hours; and they managed to keep much of the ambience at the new location, but grubby charm of the old site just doesn't translate. And Sign of the Whale still has the best bar burgers in town, and manages to get some cachet from their close proximity to the strip bars. As for H&D, the food will fill you up if you can keep it down, and I've never gotten a case of the Hershey squirts off their food, unlike say, Tune Inn. And yet I still go to Tune Inn, even though they seem to have Ikea-fied the dark wood paneling. Something about pitchers and taxidermy heads that really go together.
Still, Baltimore has DC beat in the number of quality corner dive bars, most open at 9am, with people drinking at 9am (Why do I have to wait until 11am to get stinko, DC? Why?) My fave has to be that one down a one-way in Fells Point, with only a white plastic sign saying "Bar" hanging near the front door. Fifty-cent Nasty Bohs, ratty pool table, and a turntable with a help-yourself supply of records.
And IMGoph hit it right. "Best bar" makes about as much sense "best color." Yes, for the fifth year in a row, Blue was voted Best Color of All Time! There certainly will be a lot of cardoor slamming in the streets of Redmond, Redwood, and Red Rocks tonight!
The Old Ebbitt is much better than the Hawk & Dove -- pleasant surroundings, great food and usually terrific service. While the Hawk & Dove may have character and a good location, I don't think its the best bar in this city.
what about the wonderland in columbia heights? i love that place.
How can you speak of dive bars without mentioning Dan's Cafe??? What other bar serves drinks directly from the airplane bottles with a bucket of ice and can of soda....the only downside is now without smoking to mask the stench, you can hardly stand the smell of the place...but it's the best nonetheless..
Hmmm, well, I would have to offer up Zoo Bar in Woodley Park as a personal favorite. On the Hill, I like the top floor of Pourhouse and Cap Lounge. And though I don't go nearly enough, Trusty's is a solid neighborhood bar.
And Tom Tom. Always Tom Tom.
I second the Dan's Cafe. Evan Williams and Shasta Ginger Ale. Use the restroom before entering.
Marx Cafe is not exactly a dive, but it's got character.... Lucky Bar afternoons are terrific as well. The reader who opts for Baltimore, however, is right on the money... That is a serious drinkin' town....
The problem here is that one person's "best" is another person's "godawful cesspool." Esquire pitched H&D because it runs the nexus of gossipy Hill tavern and convenient place for mid-level managers to pickup drunk interns for a quick pump-and-dump, all for the cost of a couple $2 Bud Ices. Granted Esky's standards have fallen low of late, but that's where their priorities lie. We have to define our terms. If you want a sublime cocktail experience, you got to PX. If you want to sniff eurotrash World Bank flattulence, you go to 18th Street Lounge. If you want to get shot, you go to H20. If you want to get hammered and wake up with your pants around your ankles in a gutter in Ekaterinberg, you go to Velvet Lounge. Each are the best at their own particular thing.
And Old Ebbitt is to bars what Clyde's is to fine dining. There's a reason why the latter owns the former.
Fox & Hound. End of discussion.
The Raven.
Monkeyrotica has never been more correct than in #21, but there is only one "t" in flatulence.
At this point, one must give Temperance Hall some love: Great menu without being pretentious (holy screaming crap, those garlic fries!), clean without being TOO clean, etc. And a great addition to the Petworth/CH area. Righteous.
Dr. Dremo. Best bar in the DC area.
The Malt Shop
I have to agree. There is no contest.The Fox is the best bar in DC.
The second "t" in "flattulence" is silent. Like the silent "t" in "diarrhea," which is not only silent but deadly and invisible. Just like flattulence.
Either the House on Georgia Ave or Louis Rogue at 5th & K (or thereabouts).
Authentic bars with very few transient types.
Service with a smile...every time.
esquire's pick was pretty pathetic. there are so many better choices out there. even if you are a hill buff, why not "my brother's place" or any of the other dive bars around.
And The Saloon goes unnoticed.
I second Dremo's. I don't care how much you hate Virginia ... one visit there and you will be hooked.
Wonderland's not a dive bar. It's a hipster bar. In hipster bars you find people wearing "Wacky Packages" t-shirt listening to "Chevy Van" by Sammy John or "Hold Your Head Up" by Argent on the jukebox. In dive bars, you can find precisely the same thing, except the t-shirt isn't being worn unironically and those two songs are usually the only songs available. No Death Cab or Sigur Ros to round the selection out.
I nominate Polly's. For a couple weeks there it had no flush toilet and the jukebox hasn't worked in months.
There are better bars in DC, but in this case, I can't say I blame Esquire for the slightly obvious choice. H&D is fantastic at nothing, but at least decent at everything. And when you're looking to sell a national magazine with this story, that's what you need - the bar that will appeal to the most people, whether they're local or just visiting.
Personally, I think they probably should have just said "every bar between 2nd and 4th Streets SE on Pennsylvania Avenue" if they were going for the H&D vibe, but perhaps that would be a bit too vague.
Acerbic, excellent call on Polly's being a dive bar (and a good one at that). Though as a Sunday brunch destination, it cleans up quite nicely.
Erratum, per #34 "...t-shirt *is* being worn unironically..."
Er, sorry.
ace
Velvet Lounge is probably my vote.
I've never been myself (despite passing it everyday), but I've been told (repeatedly and emphatically) that if you want to really stare into the long, dark corridor of a surly alcoholic's soul, you need to go to Stan's on Vermont NW on any weekday night.
Otherwise, I have to second the Raven, the F&H, Trustys and Polly's. And Dremo's as well--man, the folks that work there truly are first rate.
I'd have to add: Iota (load bearing wall and all), Tunnicliff's, Tonic, and the Velvet Lounge (bring back the Robot Ball!).
I'm going to put in a plug for Argonaut's. it's a great neighborhood bar.
I'll second the Saloon on U. It's like the quintessential neighborhood bar, and much easier to grab a seat than overhyped St Ex. I'm also partial to the Brickskeller, Bourbon, and the rooftop of the Reef.
BTW, Esquire recently gave the 9:30 Club the best music venue in the country!
www.esquire.com/dont-miss/minieskys0407
In addition to The Saloon and Polly's, other close-to-homebase bars that we frequent are DC-9, Wonderland, the bar at Utopia, and Bar Pilar.
When (albeit much too rarely) branching out -- Lucky Bar, RFD, Porter's, Dremo's, Iota, and (gulp) Irish Times. Note the (almost) total lack of dancing venues.
There's a special ring in Hell, right there between unbaptized foetuses and purjurors, reserved for places that charge $9 for a burger and expect you to pay extra for fries. I'm looking at you, Polly's and Marty's.
Esquire did the obvious choice - politcal town, so the best bar must be on capitol hill. Blee blah bloo. I think our city has such a diverse crowd that it's impossible to name a "stereotype" bar for the city. Or even a "best" for that matter. My votes go to Dan's Cafe, Madhatter, or Madam's Organ.
The Hawk is an excellent bar. Come on who doens't love watching teens and Marines on the weekends? They used to run a special on Saturday nights, 2 burgers and a pitcher of beer $10. We'd get hammered. I love the Hawk, as I've gotten older I frequet the pub side mroe often, quick service and crusty old bastards telling dirty stories and jokes.
Will put in a good word for Trusty's and one for 18th Amendment, where my boy Shrkey works in the basement.
Esquire doesn't get a lot right, and I'm nto gona say the Hawk is "the best" but it is an exclelent bar. Oh and Cap Lounge smells liek dead things, all the time, even post fire.
Look, at the risk of beating this silly meme into whatever you beat a silly meme into...
As much as I love the Saloon (and the fact that John closes it every August to go build Habitat for Humanity housing in places around the world that need it), it's not a dive bar. Any bar that has the wonderful selection of beers that the Saloon has can't be a dive bar. And Madam's Organ? A cover charge to see a band, even on weeknights? Please. Dive bars don't have cover charges. RFD? It's like drinking in your high school cafeteria.
The Raven comes close. They don't accept credit cards and you're basicallly sitting on plywood. Still...that jukebox...trying just a little too hard, isn't it?
Dan's Cafe wins for dive bar...no question. You mix your own drinks while Elvis' B-sides are playing in the background.
Best bars in town, in no particular order:
The original incarnation of the Malt Shop would've made this list, but the new one next door is but a shadow of the original. And the Park Bench Pub was a great bar too, especially the upstairs, which was recently torn down.
I'm surprised no one has mentioned Harry's.
If we're limiting the discussion to dive bars (as was suggested above), Common Share is another that should be a part of the discussion.
I'm surprised no one has mentioned Harry's.
Is Harry's really a "dive" bar? Sure it's one of the few places in DC open Christmas night, but that doesn't necessarily make it a dive.
I'm not sure how it got sidetracked to best "dive" bar, but I was talking about best in general. I don't know why people are so gravitated toward anything they consider to be a dive. The cost savings are usually overblown as well. Sure, you can get a miller lite for 2 bucks, but then try a mixed drink and its back up to that $6 minimum charge. But I guess it's more fun to pretend that you're a savvy bar patron.