June 1, 2007
Cops on Segways: Hilarious, or Helpful?
Washington has had a love-hate relationship with the Segway for some time now. Certainly, they are useful modes of transportation -- who among us begrudges the UPS man, or even the tourists, from trying to zip around our city's streets in a more efficient manner? But at the same time, pretty much no matter what you do, if you're riding one, you look like a douchebag. This isn't to say the technology isn't cool, or that we all don't secretly want to try riding one, just that it's undeniable that it is impossible to look cool wearing a helmet and pressing lightly forward on as you roll silently forward on these contraptions.
Today the local media is awash in the news that the Metropolitan Police Department is adding 25 Segways to its neighborhood patrols, with ten more on the way. The Associated Press takes a respectful tone, acknowledging that police are hoping that the vehicles will help officers cover more ground while maintaining good relations and visibility in communities. If we had a nickel for every time a DCist commenter complained that D.C. police never get out of their squad cars and patrol on the sidewalks, we would be the wealthiest blog in the land. So should the Segway program prove to be a success, surely District residents would greet this development with shouts of approval. But the Post acknowledges the inherent humor involved with their headline, "Go Ahead, Chuckle." We may be glad to have more police out of their cars, but that doesn't mean we won't laugh at them.
Yet to be determined is where the D.C. Segway cops fall on the Embarassment Scale. Motorcycle cops are clearly the coolest, with those in squad cars a close second, but what about mounted police? Are Segway cops more or less geeky than bicycle cops? We suppose we'll just have to wait until we spy one for ourselves to decide.
Photo of a Chicago Segway cop by Flickr user mbiddulph, used under a creative commons license
|
Um, who cares how they look? If it helps them get around more easily while increasing their visibility and helping to take care of some of the problems on the streets, I don't give a shit if they're on a Segway or a bicycle with short shorts or flying a magic carpet made of Astro-turf.
I just hope they get good Segway training. Those things are much harder to stop than one would think. There are no breaks; you stop it by balancing your weight in an upright position.
For real. Their job isn't to look cool. Anything that gets them to patrol our neighborhoods instead of driving through is a plus.
The Hill gets cops on Segways, bikes -- even horses -- during the day. At night it's radio cars and helicopters.
1 -- Motorcycle cops aren't the coolest, because all they are is roving highway tax collectors. That is, all they do is enforce traffic laws that are designed to be broken.
2 -- Cops on horses are WAY cooler than cops in squad cars. Riding horses requires a modicum of fitness and talent.
3 -- Segway cops are fun and safe. What's not to love? (Except the obvious fact the guy riding it has a 75% chance of being a total asshole, like all cops have.)
Instead of a siren, when segway cops are engaged in a chase, they should blare Europe's 'The Final Countdown'.
COME ON!
I think that cop is, er, located directly in front of my dad's old office building. I did a doubletake when I saw the picture.
Also, most Chicago cops are way fatter than that one.
I just don't get how you could chase someone on a segway. I've seen cops chase people on bikes and horses without any problem-- but I find it really hard to believe that you could run someone down on a segway. I mean, if they decide to run across a patch of grass, can a segway follow them?
It just doesn't make sense to me. I think I'd much rather see cops on bikes or horses or motorcycles.
Washington has had a love-hate relationship with the Segway for some time now.
Fixed that for ya.
I suppose it's more efficient than foot patrols, but it really lacks the intimidation factor of a cop on a horse. And how fast do those Segways go anyway? Seems like even the most out-of-shape kids could outrun them if they tried hard enough. And how much do these dohickeys cost? Wouldn't it be more cost-effective just to give them decent bikes or scooters even? Trick 'em out all Quadrophenia-mod-like, with chrome and horns Union Jacks, with "Love Reign Over Me" blaring.
Definitely make getting a jaywalking ticket more entertaining.
The best thing is that if they ever try to nick yer, just run away upstairs - these silly contraptions can't climb stairs (unless I'm missing something.)
In fact, as I think of it, Meridian Hill Park could become the perfect location for all day spliff and beer sessions in the sun. A picnic blanket, a cooler and a large bag of skunk - spread out on the grassy hill by the cascading fountains.
No segway could get close to you, and the chances of an MPD occifer actually getting off their segway and walking are (pun intended) slim.
How far off are we from a slow speed Segway chase on the evening news?
I don't know what to think. What are the odds that they'll stay on them when it hits 100F in the deepest reaches of July? Then again, I have such low expectations, I'll sign on to the "anything that gets them out of cars is good" list.
Wasted - FYI Meridian Hill Park is under US Park Police jurisdiction, thus the point is moot.
Horse cops have been patrolling the alleys on the Hill during the day -- very good for preventing burglaries -- but our Segway cop seems to spend all his time on Pennsylvania Avenue SE between 6th and 8th, giving Segway endorsements. I did see him give a parking ticket the other day.
Hope they lowjack those things. Tehey're gone the first time they have to get off them to go inside a building or to chase someone. Those slow things won't catch a runner.
A Segway can travel at up to 12.5 MPH. Somebody who is fit enough to run a mile in six minutes is only travelling at 10 MPH. You do the math.
Does anyone know the exact date when we decided that walking was just too damn hard? I must have been home sick or something.
I was having a beer in Meridian Hill park a few weeks ago, lounging in the Sunday sun on the grass near the cascading fountain and a motorcycle cop drove his bike down the stairs adjacent to me. It looked like he started this, and a few steps in realized that it was a huge mistake but was too late to turn around. He did not see me drinking a beer, but I mean, C'mon, if your beat is to patrol the park, get off your fuckin motorcycle and walk thru the park.
I have to agree that people driving/riding Segways look like douches, but I am also happy to have the cops out of their cars.
Furthermore, if there are two segway cops patrolling a crowded area I'd imagine they could do a pretty good job intimdating folks into complying with the law. These things might be helpful for areas like 18th street on Saturday night. Just like nobody f's with mounted police because the horse is so big, it takes a bit of the edge off belligerent drunks when they see a cop wearing a bicycle helmet and towering about a foot over their heads.
I think the Post article said that the cops have special $5,500 police versions of the Segways. Maybe those things can do offroad and drive up shallow steps like Meridian Hill park?
You know, I came all prepared with a "Get a damn bike already, you lazy gits!", but now that I've been reminded of the sheer entertainment potential of this, I say - bring on the Segways!
I would say you look more like a goober than a douchebag on one of those things. That said, I would like for all cars to be banned from the city limits and replaced with Segways.
"Certainly, they are useful modes of transportation" Says who? Segways are novel yes, but really aren't that useful. At $6,000 and too heavy to carry up a flight of stairs to your office or apartment how are they useful? At best they go 14 mph on flat, even terrain. True, I can't run that, but I can do that on a bicycle without breaking a sweat. They aren't as intutive to use as Segway would have you believe.
While I agree local beat cops are better off out of their cars, this is a tremendous waste of taxpayer dollars, when bicycles for the officers are far more effective and cost much less- though I'd still prefer they just friggin walk the neighborhood like the old days.
Truth is, Segway has a pretty influential industry lobby, despite being only one company. They've quickly formed "user groups" passing themselves off as advocates and inserted themselves in any bit of bike and pedestrian policy that people will let them get away with. They're banned from some major cities in Europe and are worried about that happening here, so they are lobbying hard to be listed as a personal mobility device for the disabled. Seems like a last ditch effort to gain a market from a product that has all but flopped.
Well, let's see here: The Segway doesn't have the rugged Western style of patrolling on horseback nor the masculine, potentially doping gestalt of riding a bike. You're basically just . . . leaning to get somewhere. I'd say that validates the chuckling right there. The only thing it has going for it, really, is that you can't eat your doughnut at the same time.
Not that I'm challenging the MPD to try.
Have they even considered unicycles?
By the way -- I do remember seeing a cop on a Segway in the middle of 18th St in Adams Morgan last summer, just parked looking down the hill acting every bit like he was astride a horse. Since around that time MPD announce they were selling their horses, I just figured they were replacing them with Segways.
I don't see this as funny at all. It's a ridiculous waste of $150,000 of our tax money that could be used to say recruit a couple more officers. Or how about buying 300 more bicycles for the current cops, you know bicycles which are actually effective in a chase and would promote physical fitness in the police force. Its pathetic that they would even suggest this as an effective policing expense.
A few months after moving to DC, I had a run-in with a local police officer on a Segway...
8:01am - I enter the Metro system via VanNess station.
8:35am - I exit the train at Union Station and depart from the Metro station via the Southern exit.
8:37am - Accompanied by 70 other commuters, I step onto the escalator to head up to the street. As I approach the top step of the escalator, the young man in front of me suddenly leaps back onto my step, setting off a chain reaction in which 30 people are suddenly piling up at the top of the escalator, pushing, shoving, confused. The guy in front of me and myself are ultimately shoved into our roadblock: a 40-something police officer on a Segway who is trying desperately to put his vehicle - which is inexplicably blocking our exit - into reverse. But he can't. Apologizing profusely, he fumbles at his gears...the Segway doesn't move but he does manage to cause permanent hearing damage to those of us pressed up against him with the 5,000 decible siren he manages to set off. Finally, just when the comic highjinks can't be topped, he finally finds the correct gear and quickly darts around the corner of the building.
Cops on Segways are good for a laugh but probably not much else...
I've been seeing cops on theses for months in Glover Park and Cleveland Park.
Boy, mention the word Segway and it quickly turns into a bash-fest in no time at all. Sure, you look a bit odd (or 'douche' in DCist vernacular) but that's only a problem if you constantly crave the affirmation of those around you.
Between my home and my work involves a Metro station change. 30-45 mins. Bus is an option, too, but that's about the same time and also requires a change. The Segway gets me door-to-door in about 15 minutes. It's perfect for a compact city like this.
So, on with the fun:
"I just hope they get good Segway training. Those things are much harder to stop than one would think. There are no breaks; you stop it by balancing your weight in an upright position." -- Bobby D
You haven't ridden one or you have a personal lack of balance. They stop much faster than a bike going at the same speed. You just lean back sharply and there you are. Stopped.
@slo
Nice story but totally made up. Segways have no gears or forward/reverse mechanisms. You just lean back or forward. After riding one for a bit it's quite intuitive.
How can these things be for a disabled person? For example, my mother in law can't stand or walk for long periods of time because of her knees so how would a Segway help her?
Can't resist asking. Do they come with a siren and PA system?
Had a Michelin engineer demo a Segway with their Tweel technology on it (a non pneumatic tire) at an engineering school in another state. The wheelchair for handicapped people based on Segway technology is a regular wheelchair that lets a person in it "stand up" or climb stairs. There's also a 4 wheel thing that looks like a recumbent bike for rec use outdoors.
A local police officer in the class had been a bicycle officer when their dept. tried out Segways and said there was no comparison to a bike in their city since they were more spread out and not so urban.
I can see the benefits in a more crowded pedestrian area like DC or NYC.
The MD MTA police at BWI get some pretty good speed going when no one is around in the long stretch near Bill Bateman's Bistro.
Eh. Count me as a begrudger. I don't particularly care how silly the cops look, but this thing is a hazard to shipping. Too slow for the street, and likely to bowl over pedestrians on the sidewalk.
I think that your averaage MPD cop probably does not spend that big a percentage of their time actually, you know, chasing people down. They seem to spend most of their time answering 911 calls and sort of hanging out driving around being visible and looking out for anything amiss. I think a segway could be a good way of increasing the effectiveness of both.
Though, yeah, a bike does that too, with the added advantage that should they inf act come off and chase you, now you are trying to outrun someone who rides a bike around 20 hours a week. But really, if you're out and out running from the cops, it seems like you're basically trying to outrun the radio.
People don't just look like douchebags on Segways, they are douchebags. There is no way around this fact. Anyone who pays $5,000+ for a mode of transport that is less effective than a bicycle, moped, or any other means of transport; and is a menace to pedestrians on sidewalks as well, is a douchebag.
To SegwayGuy -- every time I, and the vast majority of DC's populace, see you go by, we think "douchebag."
Of course it's not the cops' fault if thats what they are issued, but the money should be going to buy bikes.
A 250 pound cop on a 250 cc Honda rebel is cool?
I'm considering getting a segway to commute to work... riding the bus 2.5 miles from home to the office everyday takes 45 minutes to an hour. ridiculous. but, I don't know where you would park it?
Just want to clear up a few things, seeing as a number of posters seem to be full of information that is horribly wrong. So lets start debunking. "At $6,000 and too heavy to carry up a flight of stairs to your office or apartment how are they useful? At best they go 14 mph on flat, even terrain." You like roudning up, methinks. $5,500, 12.5 mph. And both the i180's and the i2's weigh under 100 pounds. Further, they have a setting that allows one to lift a Segway up the stairs without havig to lift the machine. The motor does all the work. "People don't just look like douchebags on Segways, they are douchebags. There is no way around this fact. Anyone who pays $5,000+ for a mode of transport that is less effective than a bicycle, moped, or any other means of transport; and is a menace to pedestrians on sidewalks as well, is a douchebag." Less effective than a moped? Does your Vespa get the equivelent of 480 miles to the gallon? You like walking down the sidewalk with people on bikes whizzing by you? "Eh. Count me as a begrudger. I don't particularly care how silly the cops look, but this thing is a hazard to shipping. Too slow for the street, and likely to bowl over pedestrians on the sidewalk." So bikes are safe, even though people ride them on the sidewalk at speeds faster than 12.5 mph and since bikes also have a larger footprint? Leave it to the internet to bring out all the morons that have no idea what they are talking about. Flame me all you want, call me a douchbag while I am on my Segway, etc. it does not change the fact that I have $5,000 lying around to buy a Segway and be as douchbaggy as I want on it. Jealous?
Count me as a born-again Segway believer. I used to think they were the dorkiest, most inefficient, wasteful, stupid inventions created. Then I tried one. Don't get me wrong -- it's very difficult to look cool on a Segway -- but they are a blast to ride and actually very efficient and cost-effective.
I used to spend $3 a day on public transportation, and another $100 a month in short mile-long car trips to the local Starbucks or CVS. I used to wait for the bus for 25 minutes every morning and evening, and sit in traffic for far too long as well.
Then I decided to buy a Segway. Like all good things, I got it financed. For just over $100 a month, I have taken care of my 3-mile commute to Dupont Circle, as well as all those little 1-2 mile jaunts to the store. And it takes me exactly 20 minutes to get from my front door to my office -- this is shorter than the amount of time I had spent just WAITING for the bus to arrive. I use my car once or twice a week, and I am now filling up my tank once a month instead of once a week. Yeah, I may look like a dork (or "douche" in DCist parlance), but it's a blast to ride... and I'll gladly "look like a dork" (are we still in middle school, people?) in exchange for saving close to an hour a day in transportation time plus $100 a month in the cost of gas.
One more thing: Riding around on a Segway helps to quickly expose people like "Sluggo" for the a**holes that they are -- and quickly brings all the interesting, thoughtful, fun and quirky people out of the woodwork. :-)