An April thread regarding area grocery stores on the Washington eGullet forum has popped back up to become an interesting topic of conversation recently. It seems that most people in the District have a scornful, yet loveable name for their neighborhood grocery store. Someone even had the time to make an interactive map featuring some of the various nicknamed Safeways.

We thought for the record, it'd be good to summarize District grocery options and stereotypes. Feel free to add your thoughts to the debate ...

Social Safeway: (Wisconsin Avenue at 34th Street NW) ... Where the rich and powerful meet and buy produce ... at least before the Glover Park Whole Foods opened. (DCist has seen Democratic operative Joe Lockhart at the Whole Foods salad bar, but that was when Lockhart's Glover Park Group was still in Glover Park ...) Now most of the elite shoppers go uphill to Whole Foods to get their food. So the Social Safeway has lost its luster, but is still good enough for Georgetown's hired help and impoverished Embassy Row staffers to stock up on cheap, but decent food.

Soviet Safeway: (17th and Corcoran sts NW) ... it lacks food because it has a small loading dock/door. But one eGullet contributor says the Soviet Safeway used to be on Connecticut Avenue ...

The "Soviet Safeway" was located across the street from the Uptown Theater in Cleveland Park. It's now an independent grocery store whose name I can't seem to pull up, even though I go there all the time. It was the Soviet Safeway not because it was evil, but because the store was so small and dingy, and the selection so small -- much worse than any of the Safeways vying for the title today. Anyone remember the Safeway on, like 9th and G? That was pretty scary, too.

The Sodomy Safeway (very incorrect, and rarely ) was the one at 17th and Corcoran. You didn't hear this one in casual conversation too often, and even then mostly after you'd been drinking with people who lived out of the neighborhood.

Then another eGulleter says:

soviet safeway is on 17th and dear god--I love shopping there, only because it's so mind-blowingly awful--some genie in its shift software took the name a little bit too much to heart.

Watergate or Senior Safeway: (Virginia Avenue at New Hampshire Avenue) ... frequented by old-time Watergate residents, like former Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole (R-Kan.) and current Sen. Elizabeth Dole (R-N.C.). It's overpriced and George Washington University students pay extortionary prices for simple items like Combos and mac and cheese.

I live in Foggy Bottom. The Watergate Safeway is the store closest to me. I have been shopping there weekly for almost 20 years. No one in the store knows my name. I know their names. They tell me "haven't seen you in a while". Shit! I was here yesterday! I have pulled products off the shelves that have been 2 months out of date.

Then another:

This store is over-run by both the very elderly Watergate residents and the GW students who live in the famous Watergate Howard Johnsons turned GW dormatory. Between the dowagers shopping with their nurses and the hordes of students walking down the isles talking on their cell phones, shopping there is a chore that I don't look forward to. Best times to shop are early AM, which I am rarely ready for. Truly, this is the real geriatric Safeway.

Geriatric Giant: (Connecticut Avenue at Veazey Place) ... But regular eGullet contributor JennyUptown says her neighborhood Giant has more old people than the Watergate Safeway:

I think the Giant at Veazey and Connecticut could give the Senior Safeway (wait, there IS one of those, right?) a run for its money. Totally the Geriatric Giant. Gross Giant (it's pretty dirty) just isn't as melodic. And the woman who manages the deli at the Geriatric Giant is the meanest thing out there. ... The clientele of the GG on Veazey/Connecticut is not exactly the down-at-heels, but I wouldn't call the folks high society either. Lots of them bought condos in the hidden Van Ness East building and now tout its tunnel to Giant as a reason they're glad to be tenants. Seriously. It's brought up more than you can imagine.

Secret Safeway: (20th and S sts NW) ... Although this is known as the Secret Safeway, it is technically a Townhouse Safeway. It's small and certain Dupont residents take such pride in their "secret" store that they're actually serious about not revealing its location. We've heard the "Shhh, I'm not telling you, it's a secret!" line too many times. Our response, give us a break.

The Really Secret Safeway: (42nd and Ellicott sts NW) ... Tucked behind Georgetown Day High School in Upper Northwest, students have been known to consume liquid lunches in the parking lot. Driving on Wisconsin Avenue, you would never know it's there.

The Sixties Safeway: Georgia Avenue NW ... DCist has never been here. But it looks like its straight out of "The Wonder Years."

Dazed and Confused Safeway: (MacArthur Boulevard at 48th Place NW) ... OK, the Safeway way up in the Palisades doesn't have a firm nickname, but DCist is putting forth Dazed and Confused as a suggestion. When we've been in there, Palisades teenagers have been wondering around lost and dumbfounded. Also, a group of former French Embassy interns who lived down the road used to go there. One could have been a body double for Matthew McConaughey's character in "Dazed and Confused," just French.

We used to go to the Secret Safeway when the MacArthur Safeway (which I swear also had a name -- the first time we went in there, in about 1987, the diapers and feminine hygiene items were stocked on a shelf above the meat) didn't have what we needed.

actually, we're the one misnomer--the Spanish Safeway. it was accurate 20 years ago, but the barrio has been pushed back from 18th to 16th street, and is now leaping out into the suburbs. remaining salvadorans shop largely on Mt. Pleasant and northern 14th.