DCist: Montana To D.C.: Eat Our Balls

May 1, 2006

Montana To D.C.: Eat Our Balls

It's one of those great D.C. occasions where out-of-staters turn the city into a melting pot of American tradition. It's for a good cause. It's sure to be a good time. And, it's too bad Stephen Colbert couldn't stay one more weekend in town because it's got the one thing on which he places his highest premium: balls.

We speak, naturally, of the upcoming Third Annual Testicle Festival, brought to you by the good people of the state of Montana. This Saturday night, D.C.-area residents are invited to the American Legion in Arlington to listen to the country stylings of the Wil Gravatt Band and tuck into some of Montana's famed rocky mountain oysters (a/k/a "Cowboy Caviar") -- that is, deep-fried bull testicles.

According to the Wikipedia, the eating of the Rocky Mountain Oyster "is often meant as a lighthearted test of one's bravado, especially for men, given the inherent implications of castration and the threat of the loss of male virility." So, it's not just unusual cuisine, it's a meal with profound Camille Paglian implications! On a further note, the Wikipedia reports that "consumption is often undertaken with copious amounts of beer." So, remember to have a full glass on hand when you dig in so you can avoid gagging on these balls! (Members of the White House Press Corps, on the other hand, should be able to get by just using personal experience.)

The 2006 Testy Fest kicks off at 8 p.m. Tickets are $15, which covers the cost of both food and drink. The American Legion is located at 3445 Washington Blvd. in Arlington. Best of all, the proceeds for this event will go to help some great kids at the Missoula Ronald McDonald House. Go nuts, people.