December 19, 2006
Malice in Wonderland
It seems that some nefarious characters fell down the rabbit hole last Friday night. The City Desk reports that the Wonderland Ballroom--Columbia Heights’ enclave of kitsch, quirkdom, and delicious foot-long hotdogs--fell victim to an armed robbery by three masked men.
Yesterday, as Wonderland filled up with the tragically hip for weekly trivia night, bar co-owner Matthew McGovern sat down and gave us the scoop: when the perps entered the bar around 9 p.m., it was fairly crowded with regulars, who at first thought the robbery was staged as some sort of practical joke. One of the three guys stood watch at the door, one had the bartender empty out the register, and the third got what he could from the patrons.
The entire operation took about three minutes, after which the customers went back to their boozing and merry-making. The police, who haven’t had any luck catching the guys, pointed out to McGovern that, while muggings are par for the course in Columbia Heights, stick-ups of businesses are fairly infrequent. We’re glad that no one was injured, and that Wonderland wasn’t looking much worse for the wear last night.
Photo by flickr user Don Feduardo
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I'll just say that I'm glad I had just received a fresh beer when the place was robbed. I needed it.
Just keep an eye out on the music scene and see who has all new vintage synthesizers at their next show.
Once you get away with something like this once, you tend to do it again. Sounds like it was all very easy for them.
Maybe it was some of the old crowd from Nob Hill upset about the switchover, or friends of the upstairs bartender helping to shift business up there.
Friday night alibi and Hipsters in Wonderland were two of the trivia team names last night...
"the tragically hip"
ugh, get some new writers.
Are you telling me none of those shoegazin' hipsters broke up the robbery? This wouldn't have happened at Stoney's or Town Hall.
Maybe it was some of the former patrons of Nob Hill who are upset with the switchover... or friends of the upstairs bartender trying to drive folks up there.
I'm with UAU. I wouldn't be surprised if this sort of thing happens again at some of the other smaller isolated venues like Velvet Lounge or Duffy's. Which means eventually someone's going to try and be a hero. I only hope it's the guy in a corduroy baseball cap.
What's worse..getting mugged at Wonderland or drinking at Town Hall?
If you guys would drink at Rinconcito Dos, this wouldn't be a problem. !Cervezas para todo!
Merry Xmas!
Armed robberies are increasing all 'round. Blockbuster(!) on 17th NW was held up at gunpoint at 3PM today by three guys in masks...
"Are you telling me none of those shoegazin' hipsters broke up the robbery?"
Three armed men. You go ahead and play hero. Let me know how that works out.
Sounds like Omar Little & company were slumming it in Columbia Heights, DC.
Politburo - Are you French or something? Dummies that are committing armed robberies generally don't know how to shoot and count on people being cowed into submission by their guns. If 3 guys get up and bum rush one of those knuckleheads, I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts the other two take off running.
The "dummies" doing the robberies are generally old enough to know better, but young enough to feel invincible. Even if the can't manage to hit the guy (or two or three) that rushes them, there are plenty of other people in that bar a stray bullet might have hit. Maybe they take off running but, even if the odds are 10-1 that they do, it's not a very smart bet, esp when you're gambling other people's lives and not just your own.
You're not betting dollars to donuts. You're betting your life, and the lives of other people in the bar. Again, you take that chance. But don't shit on anyone who would rather hand over $50 than get shot in the head.
The fact that you said "are you French or something" leads me to believe you'd hand over the $50, too.
Hey, Dude! Don't Be a Chickenshit, this isn't Xbox, you don't have a power bar, man. And you sure as shit don't have an extra life.
Let alone the wouldbe hero in your senario could get the rest of the joint shot up and cause a bloodbath. Remember the Georgetown Starbucks? Three guns, if 9mm automatic means 15 bullets each, which could mean up to 45 body bags. I don't think you and your two buddies would've done jack. Further, those present did the right thing by handing it over and no one got hurt.
And don't think crimnals are dummies. Would you have the balls to hold up a place without knowing how to pull the trigger?? Expect them to be JUMPY.
$50?
Cash is soooo 1990's.
Plastic in the ghetto.
When Home Rule opened on 14th back in the 90's, they only took plastic. No cash.
WTF does the G'town FourBucks have to do with anything, wasn't that an afterhours robbery?
This "just give it up and nobody gets hurt" attitude is exactly why assholes run around robbing bars full of people. These jerkoffs could have just as easily shot one or many people after they gave up the money, giving a no-good thieving loser money guarantees you *nothing*.
Considering how easy a time those fuckfaces had, I won't be surprised if Wonderland or another place with a similar crowd gets robbed again in the next 30 days.
Also, 9mm pistols have very little stopping power. The liklihood of 3 guys emptying their clips and killing someone with each and every shot is almost Nil even by expert marksmen under ideal conditions.
"Considering how easy a time those fuckfaces had, I won't be surprised if Wonderland or another place with a similar crowd gets robbed again in the next 30 days."
Just stay at home then, m'kay?
Just stay at home then, m'kay?
I don't hang with hipsters, scenesters, or posers; you won't be seeing me around.
Don't Be a Chickenshit,
Dude, you're an idiot. But if you'd like to practice stopping a bullet, be my guest... check out SE some time and strike up a conversation, I have no doubt your winning charm will wow them.
Stopping power? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stopping_power
Have you ever been shot? The effects are as psychological as they are physical. Not to mention any wound has the problem of bleeding out. Your approach would get others killed.
The proper course of action was to comply, it netted the least potential loss. You're going to start a John Woo movie in your head for a few bucks?? I'm as bothered as anyone that it happened. And I want a proper response to keep it from happening but your approach is fantasy.
Stay away from my favorite bars please.
You know what? Nevermind, I lost my cool just then. I've had friend and family shot and threatened. 9mm can do plenty.
No offense to SE, just came to mind as higher homicide rates from gunshots...
As a matter of fact, I have been shot with a 9mm by a dummy that didn't clear his weapon properly. I was surprised, it didn't actually hurt that much; the bullet went straight through my calf, I could have walked to the ambulance. That probably explains my cavalier attitude about getting shot.
But like I said before I don't hang with hipsters, scenesters, or posers; you won't be seeing me around.
Cheers.
Oh yeah, nice generalization about SE you fucking cracker. Your apology doesn't mean shit; that was your real, scared, racist self showing.
Fear is the mind killer.
blah blah..."you won't be seeing me around."
Glad to hear.
hey guys - can we tone down the argument, here? we're all for open, interesting discussion, but when comments start trending towards fights between only a couple of people, we'd appreciate you taking it to email. thanks for reading
Get married.
Hmmm. This conversation is disturbing on a lot of different levels. It's always disconcerting to hear a lack of respect expressed for an automatic weapon. It's even more disconcerting to hear their potential belittled, because one gun shot through the calf wasn't considered painful. The amount of pain isn't the point of contention- it's the potential for very serious, very real harm. A 9mm, while one of the smaller automatic weapons, has a great potential to kill and injure. While it's unlikely that 45 people would be killed if three 9mm were emptied, let's not deny the fact that there would significant, horrific bloodshed, in addition to death. Justifying a heroism by arguing that there would only be few deaths is very, very scary. One death is too many. The money or a life- it's a no-brainer. A 9mm can kill you. That's not a debatable statement, so let's consider that discussion closed.
It's also a proven fact that complying with a robber's demands decreases the chances of harm. Robbery and murder are very different crimes- a robber escalating to murderer is something that usually is separated by assault, battery, etc. A robbers intent is not to kill, it's to steal. The profile of a robber suggests they won't kill if they don't have to.
SE also does have a much higher homicide rate than the rest of DC. That's not a racist statement, it's a fact. SE DC is also riddled with poverty and violence; it's also predominately black. The condition of SE DC has nothing to do with color; it has to do with poverty. Poverty breeds desperation breeds violence, no matter what color you are. In this country, poverty is racist- Racism is so deep and so institutionalized that it keeps white people rich and black people poor. Fear is definitely a mind killer. Approaching the problem without understanding the cause is much worse. Racist is a very charged word in this country- you can't throw it around lightly. Again, SE DC has a higher rate of gun violence and homicide than any other part of DC. That's a fact that has nothing to do with race. The reason for the violence has nothing to do with race either- it's a residual of poverty, which is a residual of racism. It's disgusting and a crime against humanity.
9mm kill; that's not debatable. How many people they may or may not kill if three of them are emptied in a crowded bar does not justify endangering someone else's life. Assuming that French people are cowards and hipsters are pussies is ignorant. The former is racist; the later is en vogue and requires very little original thought. Calling someone a cracker for recognizing disparities in violence is your own racism showing, and your lack of understanding of racism and just how deep it is. Combined with your lack of respect for automatic weapons, that's scary.
Discussion closed.
let's start a new fight, then: i agree with the person who groaned at the sight of the words "tragically hip." the whole piece was written in such a "look at me! i'm a quirky, overly descriptive douchebag" style that i could barely get to the facts. this showy, cutesy, and often pun-filled style runs rampant all over this site. stop trying to be cool - you are failing miserably - and just give me the damn news.
you all sure have alot to say about what happened. i'm sure you're all very cozy sitting at home typing on your computers. well guess what? i was the one working that night and when you get a 9mm stuck in your face you probably would do the same thing i did. hand over the money and try to get them out the door as soon as possible. so go back to drinkin your coffee and typing in your two cents on your laptops and stay the fuck out of our business! you bunch of pussies!
Uh mike.. in case you didn't read the comments, a lot of people shared your view. But you had to be a dick about it for some reason. That's not gonna win you any business.
Uh, merry christmas everybody. Let's hope it's safe for all.
... and we're at far more danger to eachother from drinking and driving during the holidays than from crime. Spread the word out there about SoberRide, it's a free taxi ride up to $50, 800-200-TAXI
politburo. suck it and read the rest of the bullshit. you bunch of kooks.
Mike-
Oy- your responses make me a little sad that I defended you with such vigor. I basically wrote a thesis on guns, racism and violence because I thought your dissenters were approaching the situation with an I-watched-Rambo-too-many-times point of view, and because I like Wonderland. yeah, there's a lot of bullshit flying around in these comments, but I also wasn't the only person to refute the bullshit. Suck it and read the good stuff in addition to the bullshit; you'll see that they're even, and that the bullshit is exactly that- bullshit. It's easy to react to bullshit; that's what bullshit is intended to do. It's much harder to dismiss it. Jesus. Why am I a kook because I defended you? Crap, I'm a silly little bitch sometimes.
Crap, I'm a silly little bitch sometimes.
What a lovely way to end this boring discussion.